Secrets

I stand alone, holding my secret
Holding tight
Hoping that it will slip through my fingers
So that my hands will be free
I have hands that long to touch and feel
Do as other hands do
Instead they hold my secret.

Few know my secret
But many talk
Their gossip poisoning the ones around them
Continuing like a rain that never ends.
If they only knew or if they could just feel
Then they would understand
And all dialogue would cease.

My secret is warm and benevolent
It knows me, completely, yet does not judge
My secret holds my heart
A heart that is covered in band-aids,
Kept together with Elmer’s glue,
And marked FRAGILE on the side.

I fear my secrets unraveling
Only because I know what lies in store.
Society’s scrutiny,
Suspended above my head like a gavel ready to fall
My life, forever changed
Possibly for the better
Possibly for the worst

My love for my secret is unwavering
My want is great, everyday this secret becomes harder to keep
I want to scream, tell the world about the treasure I hold
Instead I whisper in code and hide my love behind a mask
Living inside my charade, living out the part I created
Staying between the lines of “friendship”

I dream of grasping your hand in the sunlight
Instead of lightly touching your fingers in the dark
I remember all of the times, not seeing you when I want to
Doing everything not to raise the alarm
But I have to ignore my feelings
For the benefit of someone I do not know.

We live in the shadows and the darkness
Hiding the truth from the light of day
Standing alone, holding our secrets
Hiding our love from those we do not trust
Praying to God for a relief
Holding on to the distant hope that we can one day stand together
Together, not holding secrets, but showing the world our unyeilding love.